Stripes
This is going to sound really strange, but I experienced something deeply spiritual last night that I can think of no other word to describe than “a vision”. I’m not a deeply charismatic person, and I have my own skepticism issues to deal with. I was raised in a pentecostal church, so I have a fairly open mind to perhaps a wider range of “happenings” than some believers, but I’m also fairly conservative and try to weigh everything against numerous sources of authority, highest among them being the Word of God itself.
That said, I have no words for what happened last night. I wasn’t expecting it. I could not sleep well and was in my normal state of being very lonely. Disclaimer: this is embarrassing, but I’m just about shameless nowadays (though not to an unhealthy extreme where I go walking about the streets in my underwear, with all my sins written in red ink on my bare chest :O ). Not for pity, but for informative reality: I’m alone… a lot… and I was cut off in a traumatic, involuntary and sudden way. I don’t particularly like this type of constant solitude, even though I’m a pretty deep thinker and an introvert. Even as a shy guy, I prefer the company of loved ones and friends – especially nowadays. Here’s the shameful part (or funny part): I sometimes find my relationship to my pillow to be more of a hug than mere gravity affords. I say that not to expose myself to great ridicule and laughter, but because that position somehow triggered my “vision” of sorts (or whatever it was).
Last night I found myself in this lonely “holding pattern” and in a drowsy state. Suddenly as plain as day, without already thinking about anything at all, a distinct word and some related images came to mind. The word was “stripe”. I pictured my pillow being transformed into a stripe, as if I was holding a long, slender 2-dimensional irregular line instead. And the word was not “line” or “strip” or “crack” or any other similar term that could just as easily describe this shape.
I was immediately flooded with great emotion as many significant phrases and concepts concerning stripes seemed to invade my mind as if from nowhere. I don’t claim any of this is God-breathed, nor should anyone start a new religion based on my story. Seriously: I don’t want anyone going out and getting stripe tattoos or paring up with friends, wearing a large shirt with two neck holes, with a giant red lightning bolt screen-printed across the front – or worshiping zebras. I’m just giving an account of what I experienced. I don’t even know if the theology makes any sense or if the word means anything.
As the word enveloped my reality, suddenly much of how the world exists and God’s design for it seemed to flash before my eyes. Suddenly many things became clear, as if I could understand both animal instincts, spiritual realities and the tender combination between the two – from an outside perspective. It was as if in an instant I understood why and how humans exist to love one another, why a husband loves only (or should) his wife, why God loves His people and justifies them through the blood of His Son, why people are healed by the stripes of Christ, what holiness is, and so on. Maybe all of this was just a sign of my heightened emotional state and doesn’t make much sense (the first thing I wrote may say it best – either I’m insane, or these things I’m thinking and writing are true). After weeping for a while I got up and wrote some things down. I don’t have time to develop the thoughts right now, so I’ll just put the notes up until I can develop them further. They might not even go anywhere, but I feel obligated to at least do a Biblical word study on “stripe” if nothing else.
Keep in mind: these thoughts came to me as I was half-asleep, around 3:00 in the morning or so. I wrote all of the thoughts very quickly, one section reading almost like a poem. It was weird. Hopefully it has some meaning, and I wasn’t just insane[ly tired]…
OK, I don’t think you are insane. At the same time, I’m not really following the “stripe” concept here. I will have to read through this again and see if anything materializes for me.
I’d be surprised if anything materializes. It was seemingly a momentary “enlightenment” or something like that… it was more “felt” than understood. I’ll probably write a bit more, but I’m not sure it is something that can be expressed in words. It’s probably more along the lines of a dream. Perhaps it’s in need of an “interpretation”. Or perhaps I’m just crazy. At any rate, I’m in need of intimacy with the Spirit of God, and to me, these sort of experiences remind me that I’m not alone in this world. I am trying to record them since my memory is so horrible that, if I didn’t write them down, I’d forget and continue saying stuff like, “God never talks to me. I can’t see Him. Woe woe woe.”
One of the concepts that also came associated with the “stripe” was holiness. I don’t know the exact definition of holiness, but phrases that came to mind that night were “to make whole”, “to make one”, “to make pure”, “to set apart”… it was as if this stripe was what was doing these things. In the case of a single soul… the stripe was a mark over them to make them pure. In the case of a man and a wife, the stripe spanned them both, making them one. In the case of a whole group, like the church (bride), it set apart for God. Another way of thinking of it is that a body contains blood. The skin or whatever is the film that contains it is the outer boundary. The blood is the same, it melds, flows and goes around, but is essentially one liquid form (one indivisible volume to fill a container). Both the man/woman connection and the church/Christ connection are similar. One flesh. One blood flowing throughout. One seed, etc. I know, basic stuff. Some thoughts also came to mind about healing… as if the same blood or power flows in us by the Spirit, the power to make whole, to make one, to dispense contaminants – I don’t know. I’m not really sure the significance of the stripe itself. I sort of equated it with the blood of Christ… but somehow it seemed more profound than that. I’m not one to try to make something more than it is or claim I’ve had a mystical and supernatural experience when I’m unsure. At any rate, it was a fantastic moment. Perhaps it served only to give me some affirmation, rather than to dispense truths.
Another concept that seemed to hold in my mind was the absolute permanence of this “stripe”. As if something marked by a stripe simply could not be broken (or a possible variant: SHOULD not be broken). So in the case of salvation (Christ’s mark on us), it cannot be erased or taken away. As far as a man and a woman, they become one body of blood that cannot be divided. In the case of the church, it should not be divided, and etc sort of blah blah blah and stuff. Somehow trying to write this stuff makes it sound like “less” than what I experienced at that moment. Yet, I cannot recreate that moment or explain what I felt. I’m already forgetting the actual “feel” of what it was. There was a brief moment when I actually felt like I was in a transcendent state, as if things were passing through my understanding that weren’t really possible for me to understand. It was essentially weird and “other”. Probably unrepeatable, though I almost wish I could feel it again so I could better observe and express what it was all about. Oh well.
It also gave me much more appreciation for parts of your sermon last Sunday. Especially the parts about the holiness of God actually having the distinct power to overcome the impurity of sin, sickness, and so on (as opposed to being contaminated or made impure and having to leave the camp). And that being the reason people had the confidence to reach out and touch the symbolic tassels on Jesus’ garment.
Something came to mind in the area of math as well… like “whole numbers” (or “integers”, as I refer to them, being a programmer of sorts). “made whole” or “made one”, made indivisible into fractions or decimals. I’ve always been fascinated that any number divided by itself equals one. No matter how big the numerator or denominator get, it equals one. In fact, the huge numbers on top and bottom in this way are “equal to one”, at least in effect. Don’t really know what that “means”, but it is interesting. I wrote “add nothing, take nothing away” because that somehow to me connected with the concept of holiness. If even a sensitive shred or iota of something is added or taken away, the subject in question is not perfectly whole. “One” seems to be operative or important in the Bible… Jesus prayed that we would be one even as He is one with the Father. Man and woman become one flesh, the body of Christ, etc. So while many parts still exist (members), they are one.
A key concept that also flashed in my mind is that of “seed”. It was almost like “blood”, “seed” and “stripe” were interchangeable in this context. Though it sounds somehow vulgar (perhaps it shouldn’t?), in the same way that man marks his wife with his “seed”, and the two thus become one, God marks us with His “seed”.
“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.
Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. You know that he appeared to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.”
I John 3:1-9 ESV
The point is made here that we are the CHILDREN of God. “And that is what we are!”, as the NIV emphatically reaffirms it. We are “born of God”. “God’s seed abides in us”. According to this particular passage, the effect of this is that we can no longer make a habit of sinning. We are made pure by the holiness of whatever this “God’s seed” can be understood as being. It is crazily mysterious, and to try to unpack it all is impossible as far as I’m concerned. But it is very interesting to think about.
Most interesting. I don’t know how to get to the “Stripe” pages 1-4??